03 November 2012


I spent the morning at Ikea. It was the first time I went in without a mile long list of things I needed for my apartment.

As a result I only spent $30. That's about $150 less than my least expensive trip ever.

I've been trying really hard to not use credit, and for the most part I've done well.

However, after Ikea we went to the mall. I bought a baby shower gift and Christmas gifts for the girls.

And then we went to the Apple store. And since I've a)wanted one forever, b)they were in stock and c)I rarely let myself buy 'big ticket' items without much internal debate - I bought an iPad.

With all of my upcoming travel plus a ridiculous amount of school work, it'll be useful and convenient.

Once I learn how to type on it of course.

02 November 2012

When a plan fails

So there's this situation that I need to take care of. A situation that I don't feel is my fault at all, but that is affecting my life in kind of significant ways.

I'm struggling to figure out the words to say to alleviate the problems. I'm struggling to find the appropriate timing to have the conversation.

And the thing is? I was there last night. I was ready. I had moments of mental terror but I was going to have this conversation.

And then, the person who I needed to talk to wasn't there.

So, now I'll have to work myself up to that point again.

I'm so afraid that I'm never going to get there...

01 November 2012

Starting Over

This space has fallen by the wayside lately. Or over the last year.

Today starts NaBloPoMo. I want to challenge myself to post daily.
It's also #OpEleanor month. I want to challenge myself to participate daily again this year.

So. This is post one. I'm doing this.

And tonight, I will go to Bible study. And have the conversation that terrifies me.

30 September 2012

Babysitting advice from someone who's been there

I am active on a site called UrbanSitter. In the last several weeks I have worked for several families who are clearly unfamiliar with hiring sitters, including many who have admitted that they’ve never left their child with a sitter.

I have become more aware of some things and I decided that a ‘what to do when hiring a sitter’ list might be necessary.

DO offer up the wifi password if the sitter is going to be in your home after the kids are asleep. Otherwise, what do you expect me to do until midnight?
DON’T act shocked that I bring my computer, I have other commitments. Yes your child will get my attention, but once they are asleep? I’m not interested in watching movies all night. I probably have work for school to do.
DO make sure I have any relevant bedtime information. If your two year old needs a sippy cup of milk, tell me. If your five year old needs a nightlight tell me. It will make everyone’s life much easier. Times are mandatory. What does "when they are tired" even mean?
DON’T ask me to do things that are unsafe. I will not feed your baby milk that has been a)served before or b)out/in the fridge for who knows how long. Who wants a sick upset baby? On this note, telling me to leave an infant in a crib surrounded by pillows and other soft objects? Yeah, I won’t. And if you expect me to 'wear' the baby, make sure you at least offer a refresher. Carriers are scary and dangerous if I'm not familiar with that particular one.
DO offer food. I’m not saying I’m going to eat you out of house and home (I’m not, I’m counting calories and snacking isn’t really in the plans), but if you want me from 5-8, offer something. Same goes from 6-10. When am I supposed to eat dinner?
DON’T watch over my shoulder. Leave the house. Go grocery shopping. I absolutely promise everyone and everything will still be breathing when you get home 30 mintues later. Then stretch this into longer periods.
DO expect your 8-15 month old to cry. It’s what they do. I’m a stranger. We’ll be okay, probably as soon as you walk out the door.
DON’T walk into the room when I’m trying to calm them down. You’ve now made it impossible for us to figure it out. Once again, I promise that we will and everyone will be alive.
DO get home on time. If you can’t, call/text/carrier pigeon. Something. It’s not fair to me to have to drive home after bars close, if we’ve agreed to 11pm.
DON’T make the first question you ask me “can we be out later than midnight?” That’s not going to go over well. If you needed a sitter until 1, you should have been up front. I have to drive home. And have other commitments.
DO have cash. Or be honest about credit. I don’t mind being paid by credit card, if I know that’s the plan. I do mind when it’s absolute last second, and I had counted on having cash to pay for something cash only.
DON’T short change me. If you’re late you owe me for the extra time, not just whatever time you originally booked me for. I have a life. I deserve to be compensated. If you're early? You owe me for the agreed upon time. If you cancel last second? Offer SOME compensation, I likely turned down other jobs/opportunities for you.

Respect me, and I will be much happier in your home. And much more likely to want to return. 

08 August 2012


I have spent the last four months in almost constant pain. And the reasons for this pain are infuriating.

At the beginning of April, my school celebration "staff appreciation" month. One of the days included yoga before the start of a day of training (and hi! since that's totally not vague enough, and someone could probably find this page now...). I decided to go despite the fact that I'd a)never done yoga before and b)I was incredible apprehensive about the whole thing.

It started out okay, but then the instructor moved us through more difficult poses. I'd gone in with an attitude of not caring if I couldn't do something, because it honestly didn't matter to me. Well, to her it did. I couldn't get into a pose and she came over and shoved my back in an attempt to make the pose happen. It didn't. And it hurt. I was in tears from her touch, almost instantly.

I didn't think much about the soreness the next day, and it really wasn't stopping me from doing things until the middle of May. I was able to participate in the March of Dimes walk at the end of April, a little sore, but I chalked it up to the flight and the fact that I'd been more active than I had previously.

I knew something was really wrong right before I flew home for a wedding in May. I'd given in and gone to a chiropractor for the pain, thinking an adjustment would help. It didn't and I was miserable the entire weekend, including both flights. I went back to the chiro and this time the adjustment made the pain much worse.

I booked a massage, but was unable to sit or stand for any length of time. 800mg of Advil didn't touch the pain. And ice pack helped, but only for  brief periods of time. I was at my wits end.

I went to the doctor and was prescribed a muscle relaxer and a pain pill. Turns out, my reactions to medicine are quite fun. The pain pill kept me up all night, but left me just loopy enough that I couldn't drive and take it. The muscle relaxer helped immensely but made me sleepy and/or dizzy. The massage that I'd booked helped a lot. But things don't always last.

By the middle of June, I'd spent lots of time in the pool and lots of time laying flat. My summer was half over and I hadn't managed to do ANY of the things on my to do list. However, I was feeling a lot better. Not 100% mind you, but a lot better. Rest seemed to be key, swimming seemed to help rehab the muscle that had been sprained/strained/tore/who knows. It came and went a bit, but I never REALLY had pain for more than a day or two and then was okay for several.

And then I went to a concert. A concert where a lapse in security (which I will write about soon) led to a major relapse in pain. I'd venture to say that the injury this time was worse than before. I went back to the doctor finally and was prescribed a 14 day "treatment plan". I have felt REALLY good for the last week (save for the fact that I totally failed to sit in a way that was even slightly "supportive" yesterday, and I felt it, but at least it was something I could fix!).

Almost good enough to cancel the follow up, which I can't really afford and which he plans to suggest an X-ray which since I almost just about positive this is muscular, is a waste of time and money for us all. I keep thinking I'll cancel, but then I wonder what happens when the meds run out. What if I start hurting AGAIN?

22 June 2012

Every Now and Then

Every now and then, I open this space and think about all that has happened since I last wrote.

Every now and then, I think about all the things I shouldn't write about.

Every now and then, I go away and wonder why I'm so afraid to write anymore.

I'm not sure where to start and that's overwhelming. In coming weeks, I'm going to try really hard to start posting here again more regularly.

Even though, I doubt anyone still reads.

30 April 2012


We met early on the steps at USC.
To walk for babies who could not.

It was a beautiful day for a walk,
a run,
or a nap in a stroller.

It was wonderful to see all the toddlers
have a dance party afterwards.
Led, of course, by Annabel,
whose sister is the reason we were all there.

The joy, the welcome hugs, the memories,
THIS is why I choose to come back
year after year.

03 March 2012

Someday I'll post something other than answers to a meme.

I only blog when Chibi says to, clearly. However, I'm breaking the rules and not creating new questions nor am I tagging anyone. Go read Chibi's instead.

Now for MY questions! 
1. *MANIACAL LAUGH*: name the movie.

Hmm. I'm not sure.

2. How do you "dress" your toast?

Peanut butter and honey some days. Cinnamon butter others. Jelly ONLY if I've had eggs.

3. How do you feel about snow?

Mean snow? I'm not a fan. The peaceful snow that fell on Thursday as I was driving home? I loved it. I actually like to play in the snow with the kids too.

4. Favourite movie?

Alice in Wonderland. Or Wizard of Oz. Or Mary Poppins.

5. Books: hold 'em in your hand, eReader, or not-a-reader?

I loved my Kindle before I lost it, but I really love holding books and am back to that now.

6. What was the worst job you ever had?

The one at the daycare where the lady kept sending me home even though she was over numbers. I could have (and should have!) reported her.

7. What song can you not stop listening to?

Anything by Lady Antebellum. Own the Night and Just a Kiss specifically.

8. Do you bite your nails?

Yes. Way too much. When I'm stressed mostly.

9. Love your name or hate it?

I like my name. My FULL name. I will not answer to any nicknames.

10. How did you choose your blog/twitter handle?

My job at the time + the name my brother and most little kids call me until they can say my full name. :)

11. If you had $1,000 to spend any way you wanted, what would you do with it?

Plane tickets probably. Realistically, I would love to pay off some debt though.

12 February 2012

Because Chibi Asked

Chibi posted her answers to 11 questions and then tagged several of us to answer HER questions. I had been looking for an excuse to blog again, since it's only been almost three months. This seemed like a safe way to jump back in. I hope to have a couple more posts up soon.

1.             What colour are your underwear right now?
2.             What's your least favourite food?
Rice. Or bananas. Probably bananas, I can, on occasion, accept a bite or two of rice. I cannot, ever, open a banana.
3.             Does it bother you when I put extra letters in my word? Well, too bad: I'm Canadian, eh?
Not even a little bit bothered. I like your extra letters.
4.             How do you like your eggs?
Over medium. With ketchup, bacon and toast.
5.             What book are you currently reading? Should I read it?
I just finished Bossypants. It was good. Right now, all I’m reading is a lot of teacher stuff. It is boring, you should not read it.
6.             Did you have an imaginary friend? What was his/her name?
I did. I cannot remember her name. That makes me a little bit sad.
7.             What is your guiltiest pleasure, keeping in mind I'm Prudy McPruderson, Mayor of Prudeville?
Chocolate? Coffee? Ridiculous TV shows?
8.             If you could have any job in the whole wide world, what would it be?
Fourth and fifth grade teacher. Which conveniently it looks like is probably going to happen next year. So that's awesome.
9.             Do you watch Toddlers & Tiaras?
I have, but I don’t have cable and haven’t seen an episode in ages.
10.         What CD is in your CD player? (Do you still have one of those? If not, what was the last song played on your MP3 player? Should I be listening to them/her/him/it?)
Tim McGraw’s Emotional Traffic. I have been listening just about nonstop since I got it. I love it all. Especially Hey Now and Only Human.
11.         Shoes: off at the door, or wear 'em through the house?
I take them off. My parents do not.