05 August 2011

All That Matters

I leave in a week. It's going to be a long week if last night was any indication.

We all know I was supposed to coach youth cheer, right? That goes way back to a promise I made at the end of this post (which, yes I know I've now linked to that post like five times. I'm kind of proud of it.)

Well, last night was supposed to be my last cheer practice, not counting the BBQ tomorrow. The level of drama and two parents ready to pull their children makes me question what is best. However, I need to do this for ME. The Colorado me is so very different than the me that I am when I am "home". So much healthier and happier and outgoing. The opportunities that are presenting themselves are ones that I would regret not taking, even if they fail.

And then, I realize the people who are being awful about the leaving? Don't matter. They're the ones who don't know me and know how hard I work and how dedicated I am to being the best that I can possibly be. They don't know that leaving this town, these schools and these children will be hard for me. Harder than I can describe. They don't care about the fact that I had tried not to publicize that I was in fact leaving because I need to be able to say goodbye to a couple people first, rather than having them read something on Facebook or hear the rumor from someone in town.

And if people can't respect that? They are obviously not the ones who matter in my life. I know that when I get to Colorado I have K and B, their mom, grandma, aunts. I have Katie and Scott and Violet. I have the church group I started attending this summer. I have friends to hang out with in Boulder as well as in Denver. I have people who care. People who won't be disappointed in me if something falls through or if I cannot be there for every little thing.

I wish I had that here (and there are some, but right now the pushing away feels far stronger than the encouragement). I'm excited to see where the next 3 or 6 or 12 months takes me. I am confident that I've made the right choice. And that's all that matters.