01 July 2010

Getting by

I'm really good at going a week between posts lately. However, when there are no comments and few readers, it's not so hard. I try to remind myself to write for me. And yet, I'm addicted to stats.

I've been super busy. Far busier than I expected. I've also accomplished far less than I expected.

I had an interview this past Monday. I tried to stay positive, but I'm pretty much sure that I failed. Which is both sad and okay. I would love nothing more than to have a job. And to get to stay here. But if it takes another school year for that to happen, it'll be okay. I know that if I have to go back home I have a long term sub position to start the school year, which means a lot and takes a huge weight off my shoulders.

As we enter July, I find myself fighting tears. A lot. I'm missing my aunt tons. In less than 2 weeks it will have been a year. I'm fine when I keep myself busy, but the second I slow down or have time to think, it's on my mind and the tears start.

This is especially awful when my downtime is mostly in the car. Crying while driving is less than ideal. Although, I can't say this is the first time that this has happened on an almost daily basis. Anything little thing will set me off. There is an ever growing list of songs I cannot listen to. When will the pain stop? When will I be able to think about my aunt and talk about her without falling apart?

No comments: