28 May 2010

See you on the flip side

Please don't be surprised if this blog is quiet for the next week or so. I start my move on Sunday, and am not sure if I'll have internet until next Friday.

However? When I do come back, I should have a giveaway from the awesome CSN stores - I wrote about a tea kettle I received for review from them a while back and this time I get to offer something to you as well! Last time I was browsing their site I spotted bedding, kids' furniture and of course, my beautiful tea kettle. This time? I realized they have so much more! They have lighting (any kind of lighting you want, really!), some really awesome furniture and even bathroom vanities. Seriously, why bother looking anywhere else when there are 200 stores to choose from on that site, much of it with free shipping (pretty much the only way I shop online).

So. Next time I write I'll be in Colorado! Seemed like it was so long ago when I started looking and then finally got a job and now? Now in two days I leave. After a quick trip 150 miles the wrong direction to see Tim McGraw and Lady Antebellum tonight!

21 May 2010

BlogHer@Home - Writer's Block?

This week’s BlogHer@Home question is “What do you do when you are suffering from writers block?”

I often sit here with a blank page staring at me. I often have no idea what to say, but usually I have a lot of little things that I want to share, typically a bit too long for Twitter but not quite long enough for their own post. 

Therefore? When I have nothing specific to write about, I tend to ramble. To form a list and write about a lot of things instead of one broad topic. Sometimes, I can't do that, because there are things I don't or can't share on here. 

On those occasions, I just don't write. I'm not opposed to the idea of skipping a week, but usually if I haven't posted in 4 or 5 days, you'll find a rambly post.

It's like we tell the kids - if you don't know what to write about? Just write. Something. Anything. Take fifteen minutes and spill it all out. Something will come.

12 May 2010

Death is not the greatest loss

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” Norman Cousins

Today marks ten months since my aunt’s death. For the last month or so, I’ve felt fine. I’ve had my mind on other things more often, even though thoughts of her often arise. I no longer need to cry every time I think about her. Progress is huge. 

This month my mom's other sister had a bad mammogram and several biopsies. Thankful the lumps were just cysts that needed to be drained. Still scary and emotional.

Last night, I heard the above quote on one of my favorite shows. It resonated. How much did I miss during the eight or nine months in the fog of depression. How many moments with K were lost because I was mad. Not made at her but mad at the world. How many relationships did I sabotage out of fear. More than I can accurately say.

I still haven’t gone to church. This bothers me, but not as deeply as it did last month. I long for fellowship, but have kept busy doing other things- like getting ready to move in less than 20 days. I’m confident that once I have a “home” and know where I’ll be, I'll better at the building relationships thing. It’s hard to think about making new friends only to up and move. This might be why online relationships seem to be so much easier for me to develop. I've never really planned to stay here, no matter what my family might think. Some things are easier left unsaid.

I'm tired of losing. I'm tired of dying inside. I'm taking the next step and turning the corner.