04 April 2010

Today is hard.

Easter has always been special. I've also always gone to church for this day. This year is different.

Since my aunt died almost 9 months ago, I have gone to church only two or three times. One of those times, not one person acknowledged me. Not one person out of 200+, many of whom I'd known for years. This hurt more than I can express and I haven't gone back.

I need to find a new church. I should be posting "He is risen" here and on facebook. I have typed and deleted that sentence at least six times this morning.

I feel very lost. I don't like this - I can't live like this anymore.

I know that when I'm in Denver this summer there a couple churches that I would like to check out (is it weird that I've already researched that?) - I'm just hoping that I am welcomed to one of these places, unlike the place I had been calling home.

For now, I'm going to accept that today is hard. There are going to be many more days that are hard, especially as we approach a year - but it feels promising that I can acknowledge that and know that having a community to turn to would be very helpful.

1 comment:

Deanie said...

I really hope you will find a church / place where you can find a little peace and acceptance.