22 October 2009

I'll just take my blog back now, if you don't mind.

I stopped posting here officially 10 months ago. But, really? It was LONG before that. In the last ten months, I have spiraled into a depression I'm not sure I can dig out of. I NEED this community. I need this outlet. If I feel like I can't vent frustrations, all that is going to happen is that I'm going to keep going deeper and deeper. I had my first anxiety attack in February. I haven't had one in a while, which is a plus but sometimes I feel like life is completely overwhelming.

Last weekend, my best friend and I went to find somewhere to take cool fall pictures (even though is was like eighty degrees outside at the time, so the pictures include tank tops for the girls!). To do this we went on the side roads instead of taking the freeway. We ended up driving through the neighborhood of the person who ‘found’ me and in the long run, made me give up my blog. My blog, which had to that point, helped me through SO much. I wanted to cry, just driving in the neighborhood. And that was NOT okay with me.

And then, Issa posted on twitter. I responded and told her how much I miss blogging circa 2006-2007. When people read blogs and commented, not just kinda glanced at them in a feed reader, but probably don't click over (of which, I am TERRIBLY guilty, I'm working on it, I swear). When if I had a crisis or question, I could post and get AT LEAST four responses, sometimes seven or eight. Most of those commenters I know ‘talk’ to on twitter, but it’s not the same at all. I’m not saying I don’t appreciate them, and the new friends I have made. Not at all. Because without at least twitter? I CANNOT imagine what my life would be like right now.

I need this. I need to be able to write more than 140 characters and ask for help.

Please join me in helping me take back my blog. Please let me know you’re here. Please help me keep the motivation. And if all I do is whine? Feel free to say something, but know that I’m working through some big things right now.


Samantha said...

I'm here! And, I'm here for you to listen... so write/talk away! :)

Deanie said...

I am here too! My ears are always open for absolutely everything!
Nothing can stop me from reading your blog! ;)

FeistyKel said...

Me too, I'll be reading :)

cpaige72 said...

I'm here reading! I need to start blogging again too, it's such a nice outlet.