06 December 2009

For I know the plans I have for you

Driving home Friday night, I prayed. For guidance. For direction. For help.

Yesterday morning B informed me that they are moving. In three weeks. 1100 miles away.

Yesterday morning I found two teaching positions posted online.

In the last 24 hours I have applied for two teaching jobs. And filled out the application for a teaching license.

In Colorado.

I've never been to either of the communities I'm applying in. And yet, I'm fairly at peace with this.

I'm ready to move and things seem to be falling in place. I hope I get calls for interviews tomorrow. And that they are willing to interview over the phone and accept that my license is in the works.

I hope that the university and school district reply in a timely manner so that all my paperwork can go through.

This is a huge step for me. But one that will help me put this year behind me, I hope.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

28 November 2009

This has been a long couple of days. We've driven from one end of Vegas to the other more times than I can count (250 miles or so since thursday morning). I have also managed to miss the strip 3 out of the 4 times I've attempted to get there. Who does that?

I think both of us are worrying about making the other go too much. It doesn't help that there is a bug going around the house making me nervous. I do not want to end up puking for our driving home please.

I am so incredibly tired and have a headache that will not end to top it all off. I was in tears because of overstimulation and pain earlier. Had to take three advil in order to be able to move. That or the caffeine finally kicked in.

Tomorrow will once again be busy, but I think I need to start the day with starbucks in order to ease the day along.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

12 November 2009

My favorite person in the world died four months ago today.

Will it ever stop hurting?

22 October 2009

I'll just take my blog back now, if you don't mind.

I stopped posting here officially 10 months ago. But, really? It was LONG before that. In the last ten months, I have spiraled into a depression I'm not sure I can dig out of. I NEED this community. I need this outlet. If I feel like I can't vent frustrations, all that is going to happen is that I'm going to keep going deeper and deeper. I had my first anxiety attack in February. I haven't had one in a while, which is a plus but sometimes I feel like life is completely overwhelming.

Last weekend, my best friend and I went to find somewhere to take cool fall pictures (even though is was like eighty degrees outside at the time, so the pictures include tank tops for the girls!). To do this we went on the side roads instead of taking the freeway. We ended up driving through the neighborhood of the person who ‘found’ me and in the long run, made me give up my blog. My blog, which had to that point, helped me through SO much. I wanted to cry, just driving in the neighborhood. And that was NOT okay with me.

And then, Issa posted on twitter. I responded and told her how much I miss blogging circa 2006-2007. When people read blogs and commented, not just kinda glanced at them in a feed reader, but probably don't click over (of which, I am TERRIBLY guilty, I'm working on it, I swear). When if I had a crisis or question, I could post and get AT LEAST four responses, sometimes seven or eight. Most of those commenters I know ‘talk’ to on twitter, but it’s not the same at all. I’m not saying I don’t appreciate them, and the new friends I have made. Not at all. Because without at least twitter? I CANNOT imagine what my life would be like right now.

I need this. I need to be able to write more than 140 characters and ask for help.

Please join me in helping me take back my blog. Please let me know you’re here. Please help me keep the motivation. And if all I do is whine? Feel free to say something, but know that I’m working through some big things right now.