What wonderful friends I have...

The boy is engaged (Edited to add - If I have to listen to the "announcement" one more time, I may SCREAM!). And everyone was so excited last night. But, you know something, I really couldn't be. At least not yet. If ever. I don't know.

One of my friends is so freakin' insensitive its not funny. She's the same one who got to listen to my meltdown in the car a couple weeks ago. And then she says X (his fiance) is engaged. All nonchalant, right before dinner. Um, excuse me? I just went off on the fact that I'm tired of finding things out through rumours, and now this? This is me, not amused.

And I found out she's been just as insensitive to another friend, in a kind of similar situation (with the same boy and everything). I thought maybe I was taking things too harshly, but, um, apparently not. But luckily we had each other to talk to and work through things.

And in the words of Tim McGraw (as in my last post): I'm going to hold my head up high, ain't go no more tears to cry.

And this gem from K at naptime (during our I love you, I love you more argument that occurs as her way of stalling): "I love you BIIIIG!" or "You have to sleep with me, 'cause you my friend" Thanks kid - that means a lot...

So appropriate for the times...

I'm through holdin' in and holdin' on to all that pain
Today I'm gonna keep on walkin'
I'm gonna hold my head up high
Ain't go no more tears to cry
Today I'm gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away
Yeah wash it all away
I'm gonna let it go
I'm gonna let it go --Let It Go, Tim McGraw

More to come later!

I can't believe she's already four!

K turned four on Saturday. And since then has been a monster. Is it a four year old thing? Because seriously, these tantrums and the screaming and kicking have got to stop. Now please!

When she's not screaming, she is as happy as can be, put the slightest things can set her off and then it's madness. Not fun. Not fun at all.

I wish I could share some of the adorable pictures that I took at her birthday - there are 140 total, but sadly, I can't. However, for the four or so of you that have my myspace address, there are four pictures up.

Okay, off to do homework now. After all, school starts again tomorrow.

Seven songs

From Sassy and Cynical Dad.

"List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what they are. They must be songs you are presently enjoying. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to."

My songs:

1. "Last Dollar” – Tim McGraw
1-2-3, like a bird I sing, because you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings. I’m so glad you’re here today, ‘cause tomorrow I might have to go and fly away...

2. "Stupid Boy” – Keith Urban
Stupid boy, you can’t fence that it, it’s like holding back the wind, she let her heart and soul ride in your hands...

3. "Does Anybody Hear Her?" – Casting Crowns
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see? Does anybody even know she’s going down today, under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people?

4. "Teardrops on my Guitar" – Taylor Swift
I fake a smile so he can’t see... he’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, the only thing that keeps me wishing on that wishing star, he’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do...

5. "This Ain’t a Scene " Fall Out Boy
I am an arms dealer, fitting you with weapons in the form of words...

6. "Anyway" – Martina McBride
You can pour your soul out singing a song that you believe it, that tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang. Sing it anyway...

7. "A Better Rain" – George Strait
All your dreams like leaves in the gutter go floating by, no baby I don’t know why all God’s children cry... I hope you find out there a better rain, that kind that comes in off the coast and paints the sky, let’s you know that God’s alive, a better rain that’ll wash me from your eyes so you can smile again and be alright again...

I don't want to tag anyone - because I know lots of people hate memes. If you want to play, let me know in the comments and I'll link to you.

If that new job is going to make me snippy, maybe I shouldn't stay there...

That new child is the most disrespectful six year old I have ever met. And I’ve met some doozies. It’s been two days, and had he acted that way without his mother home, it would have been one LONG time-out. I was basically forced to give in to what he wanted, otherwise he’d go running to mommy. Tomorrow, grandma is coming to watch the kids because mom has an appointment, she’ll get there an hour after I do. Why? Because don’t forget “you’ll probably never be alone with the kids.” Yep, that’s going to help with preschool/kindergarten adjustment. This mom is the most paranoid person I’ve ever met, and my mother is pretty bad at times!

And you know what I think the worst part was? Because of the new kid’s atrocious attitude towards me, I was far from patient with B this afternoon, giving him a major timeout (for the most part rightfully deserved), that ended with him being sent to his room. Crying.

The kids decided they wanted to play with Play Dough while dinner was cooking, so B got out his special set, and K could not find hers, so I decided that they would share (which B agreed with at first). As I was unpacking the set, he got whiny and said that he wasn’t going to share so I decided that we would put it away, or he could help his sister find hers, seeing as how he is almost eight and generally knows where things are located. He came back whiny and unsuccessful, still refusing to share, so I told him to go sit in timeout (more for the whine than the not sharing thing). He had the nerve to tell me “no,” which I am pretty sure he has NEVER gotten away with when I’m there. I sent him to his room (I believe the words were “go upstairs, to bed, now” – maybe not the best line ever, but he got the point).

K and I found her set, I went upstairs to check on B, I hate it when he ends up crying, because that means he’s overtired and needs some comfort time. We talked (“I got sent up here because I talked back. Lots.”) We hugged (he almost knocked me over because I was kneeling at his level; he initiated the hug, which always makes me feel better after we come to blows.). We decided that he would not be watching his movie tonight (since it is based on behaviour, plus I let him watch yesterday and during the week that’s a real privilege – I was leaning towards no to begin with, any bets on the first question the kid asked when his mother got home?). I warned him that next time he would be brushing his teeth and going to bed (His response, “without dinner?” Dinner was cooking at the time, I said “I hope we can get through dinner, since it’s almost ready!”). It ended with me tickling him and giggling as we walked downstairs. And his main concern with sharing? “She mixes up the colours!” Which if he had just said instead of being whiny and talking back, I would have accepted. Because I hate it when play dough colours are mixed up as well!

Book meme

Borrowed from MaryP

Take the list below, paste it into your own blog, and mark them as follows:
READ for those you’ve read;
WANT TO next to those you are interested in;
AGAIN & AGAIN next to those you’ve read and loved, over and over;
REPEAT for those you’ve read more than once, without necessarily loving them;
MEH for stuff you read and weren’t impressed by;
STARTED for those that just never got finished;
and leave blank those you don’t care to read.

Title	Rating
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)	Read
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)	Again and Again
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)	Meh
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)	Meh
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)	Meh
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)	Read
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)	Repeat
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)	Repeat
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)	Want to
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Rowling)	Repeat
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)	Again and Again
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)	Read
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)	Meh
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)	Again and Again
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)	Repeat
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)	Want to
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)	Again and Again
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)	Want to
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)	Again and Again
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)	Want to
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)	Read
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)	Want to
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible	Repeat
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)	Started
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)	Started
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)	Want to
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)	Again and Again
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)	Read
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)	Want to
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)	Repeat
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)	Want to
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)	Started
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)	Started
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)	Again and Again
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)	Want to
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)	Want to
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)	Repeat
76. Tigana (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)	Started
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)	Read
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)	Repeat
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)	Meh
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)	Started (don’t remember if I finished)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)	Read - meh
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)	Want to
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)	Want to
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

This post has far too many tags...

I ended up going for the first time to that new family that I mentioned in the previous post. However, I think I made my point. When dad called at 9pm on Monday to talk about the next day, I explained to him that it could not be a very long day. After all, it was already 9pm, and it is about an hour-long drive to their house. Secondly, I had to pick up the kids from school/daycare by 245, meaning that I would need to leave by 2 (school/daycare is about 25 minutes from their house, so a little later would have been okay, but what they don’t know won’t hurt them). I explained to him that I expected him to call over the weekend, so that when he had not called by noon, I called K and B’s mom to let her know that I could indeed pick up the kids. He sounded disappointed, but I bet he does not pull that one again. And mom and I decided that I’d come back for the same hours (11-2) today, and possibly tomorrow.

I thought it was going to be more hours, but since it is technically my spring break, I don’t mind only working about 9 hours (it’ll put me over the amount I need to make my car payment that was technically due last Saturday – so it’s really okay). Hopefully next week we can discuss the fifteen hours (2 full days) and see what happens from there. I only have to hang in there until May 1^st. So when I am whining in a week or two, remind me of that, please!

I’m writing a report on Mark Twain for my English class. I was going to go with Emily Dickinson, but her poems are far to short to achieve adequate results for the paper (3 page analysis of a 3 stanza poem, anyone?), whereas I have a plethora of Twain resources at my disposal and have already written about 3 of 12 pages. Oh, and the best part, it makes the paper due like 3 weeks later to chose Twain over Dickinson. For another class, I have to write an “artefact analysis” which is actually total crap, and a gigantic waste of time, but it has to be about 12 pages long as well, and I have about 2. It is due the same day as the Twain essay, but I cannot really write it until I know what lesson plan I’m going to discuss. For yet another class, I must pick a journal article (or website) to review. About any disability. What’s your favourite? I will probably go with speech/language, autism/aspergers or bipolar, but I am up for suggestions, stepping out of the box would probably be good. Woohoo, here comes the school related stress. And yet, I’m not worried.

The best news all semester? I got my first choice for placement for next semester’s student teaching! I do not know which teacher it will be with, but I know the school and most of the staff already (and could probably email the principal and ask her for one of about three that I would really like to work with). Do you think student teaching in a team setting sounds beneficial?

Other fun news: I get to go see Tim McGraw and Faith Hill on August 6. In Sacramento. 2 days before my birthday. We have floor seats. Section 14, Row B. I cannot wait.

Reasons not to work for a SAHM

at least not this particular one.

1. The conversation begins with "you'll probably never be alone with the kids" (translation: we don't really trust you, and may never, I'll just watch over your shoulder the entire time you're here, despite your 10 years of experience)
2. 90 minute "interview" in which you are asked three questions but get to listen to mom whine about bad preschool experiences, and how their child is prepared for kindergarten, even though he's six and has never been in any full-time (or, heck, part-time) preschool program and for the last two years one-on-one time has been out of the question because of his little sister (hello, can anyone say "nap?")
   
3. Why does a stay at home mom need full time care?
4. Oh wait, they don't really and the first time that $400+ check is written, suddenly hours will be cut (and yes, I do/did plan to hand them a contract to ensure this doesn't happen this summer)
5. Dad does all the communicating for some reason (why can't mom pick up the phone or respond to an email?)
6. When dad says he'll call "this weekend" and doesn't by 11am Monday morning, you know you've made a good decision going with that other family for the summer.

Have any more to add?

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 75% Superman 75% Spider-Man 55% Iron Man 55% Hulk 55% Supergirl 55% Robin 53% Wonder Woman 45% The Flash 45% Catwoman 35% Batman 35%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Pardon me while this turns into a basketball blog

DUKE lost???? What?!?!? You wanna know what team was in my final four that got knocked out IN THE FIRST ROUND????

Gonzaga?!? Really? You couldn't just make it past the first round? I had you playing Duke to make it to the Final Four. There goes my bracket. And that's just on day one.

The other losses (I got 10/16 right on the first day. The boy, the one I don't want to talk about, got 15, I may die if he beats me like that! I'm the sports fan!) I can handle. But those two? I thought I had a shot.

In other news. Go Pack!!! My college is playing at noon. I hope I get to watch at least some of the game!

I cannot for the life of me...

Remember the last time I actually typed in this box to post anything.

I'm sick. Again. I cannot deal with this anymore. I'm tired of being sick, and feeling like I cannot get out of bed. And to make matters worse, I had to drive to college town for a one hour class, so this week I will 4 hours for 2 hours of class.

And may I point out to the annoying truck driver that I had to follow down the hill, those signs that say "slow drivers must use turnouts" means you. Going 22 down a hill that has a 45 mph speed limit qualifies you as slow!

Your Irish Name Is...

Aislin Kirwan

What's your Irish Name?

Books, glorious books

I have recently begun reading two children’s books (why, you ask? Well, for starters they are significantly more fun than Emerson, Thoreau and Whitman. Secondly, I bought them from a book order and couldn’t resist).

First, there is The Anybodies by N.E. Bode (haha, read that sentence out loud, tell me it doesn’t make you giggle). The Anybodies is dedicated to:

You. yes, you. Don’t be so shocked. Haven’t you always secretly thought that you deserved a book dedicated to you and to you only? Well here it is. Enjoy it. I worked hard, you know, getting all the details just right, just so. Go ahead, start reading. Don’t linger here all day. I mean, I know you’re pleased and all about the dedication, but you need to get on with it. Turn the page! (Exact quote from the dedication page, N.E. bode, 2004, gotta give credit where credit is due).

Seriously, how can you go wrong with a first page like that? So far, I’m loving it, although I’m kind of confused. Maybe that’s the point.

Secondly, there is Replay by Sharon Creech. Sadly, it doesn’t even have a description on the back, because it’s the special scholastic edition. I don’t remember why I bought it, but it must have caught my attention in the book order (or maybe it was just really cheap? That’s enough motivation for me as well). It reads like a play with a list of scenes and cast list before you even begin reading. And it’s fast. I seriously picked it up and had read four chapters (scenes) before reaching page 8. I’ll let you know more when I get further into the book.

Wow, I just spell checked this post, and let’s not talk about the reading/writing level. I don’t think I’ve typed anything as low as that in a very long time. Although, it kind of matches the reading level of The Anybodies so the quote may have thrown it off some.

???

So that last post is far too depressing to leave up for long. Even if you don't have ANY idea what I'm talking about!

Therefore, I'm going to ask - is anyone out there EXTREMELY frustrated with sitemeter in the last few days? I cannot get mine to work AT ALL and I can't even get a response from their customer service/ whatever you call it when you click on "contact us." Is it just me?

Why do I let myself be put into these situations? Will I ever learn?

You know, the worst part is, I could have listened to Sassy and everything would have been okay. But no, I had to be stubborn and think I could work on things without cutting him out completely. And then to find out that he didn’t tell me about this new girl, who happens to be (I thought) a friend, although she’s been freezing me out too.

So much for forgiveness and moving on. I don’t know what I’m going to do – going to my favourite events is about to become very painful. I almost called him just to scream tonight, but I didn’t. However, I can’t guarantee control next time I see him (which will be far too soon I’m sure). And I want to go to that Bible Study on Wednesday, I miss my other friends.

Just when I thought it was safe to trust again. I’m done. I’m hurt. And I don’t know what to do about it.

Finally!

Today I am buying a new car seat for K, and whatever other child rides in my car. After telling her mother weeks ago that she needs a new one, I took the initiative and contacted a mom who listed one on our local craigslist. She listed two Alpha Omegas - car seats that can be used rear facing, forward facing or as a belt positioning booster. They retail for over $120 - and she wanted $35! How could I resist? They are newish (2-3 years old, car seats are okay for 6-7 years in most cases) and have never been in an accident. They have LATCH. Something that K's (which expired in Dec 04, what year is it again?) doesn't. I'm kind of excited.

*EDIT* So, I picked it up at about 445 and promptly put it in my car. And it was so easy compared to that old bulky overhead shield thing that I had in there before that often cut my hands when I buckled it in, greatly limiting my willingness to EVER take the thing out (not to mention the time commitment involved). Tonight, when I needed to fit several people in my car, I was more than willing to move the Alpha - and tomorrow morning I'll put it back in for Anya, who I am watching and probably taking to the art museum. I also vow to learn how to use the LATCH. Any tips from parents/nannies out there?*/EDIT*

Other exciting stuff happened today, which I'll write about later.
And I'm probably showing the dork side of me AGAIN writing an entire post about a car seat, but hey, that's me!