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20 January 2006

Mourning

Tuesday night I found out that my very first friend died in a car accident. Today the newspaper article is online with a picture that I didn't want to see. I feel like I should call my mom and tell her to not look at the webpage.

He's six months older than me, and even before I was born he was my friend- he'd lay on my mom's very pregnant belly and be completely content. Growing up, he was my protector, every picture we have, he has his arms around me, and my mom told me a really cute of story of him pushing another kid in retaliation for hurting me. At the time, his mom said she'd never been more proud of her little boy.

I've made through this week okay, but today's been rough. I couldn't fall asleep last night, and my brother started the day out by yelling at me, and then making rude comments when I fell apart and starting crying. It's just all too much, to top it off the funeral's next Tuesday- the first day of classes. And, it's 3000 miles away from here, which doesn't help.

My mom was talking about going to see his mom in a couple weeks, maybe around his twenty-first birthday- or else, maybe she'll get his mom to come here for a couple days, that'd be great for all of us I think.

7 comments:

Juggling Mother said...

Oh, that's really sad. I know it's not a lot of help but I'm sending you my sympathies & hugs.

Granny said...

I am so very sorry. It seems especially tragic with one so young.

Hugs to all of you from me and mine.

Mary P. said...

I'm so sorry. I hope you do manage to give each other comfort. I'm thinking of you.

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Andie D. said...

Hi Angela,

I am so sorry. It can be so hard to lose someone you grew up with. Even if you didn't see that person every day, it can feel like the loss of a sibling. I've been there too. Please try to keep remembering all of the good times, and know that he was in your life for a reason.

I'll be thinking about you.

Best,

AD

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry.
This isn't meant to be a religious thing--this is my first visit to your site so I don't know what your beliefs are, whether you believe that souls go to heaven, or that our life energy returns to the cosmos, or something entirely else--but I think that if he was so protective of you while he was alive, he'll somehow find a way to take care of you always. And by continuing to remember him so lovingly, you're keeping him close to you. He'll always be a special, vivid, and important part of your life.
I really am so sorry.

L. said...

I just saw this post now, so belated sympathies. One never completely recovers from things like this, but I do hope that as time passes, you find peace.